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30/4/2006 Change Is GoodI have to tell you, not all of that ten years lost was bad!
Some of the good things were that I started my own business after I was laid off. The reason I was laid off, or I should say I took a lay-off, was because the company I worked for moved their operations to Tucson, Az. They offered me my job there but it was not a place I wanted to move to. I think it was more to do with me being afraid to make that big of a change really. I was still trying to figure out what I was going to do now since I felt totally alone.
Anyhoo, I finished up some computer programming classes that I was taking at the Community College, took the next 6 months off and collected my unemployment (well not really, after a few weeks I was bored and took a job helping a gal with her business) and just thought about what was next for me. You have to understand, in this small town there was only one place to work and make a decent living and good wage for a woman. That place was moving and I was staying. So I started my own business and have been doing it ever since, that was 17 yrs. ago.
I also took a stained glass class with a friend of mine. It was one of my better choices in life because I still do that today. I may not touch it for a year or so, but I always come back to it.
My love life you ask? :-) Well, I was pretty shy/afraid to get into another relationship but did proceed to have the "rebound" period. Just my luck it was with a man, very sweet mind you, but with a tad bit of a problem....if you know what I mean. I tried with all that I had :-) but could not change this wonderful man. He had issues, don't you love that word? Issues.....it sounds so proper.....use that now instead of saying he was screwed up! So needless to say it didn't last but we remain friends.
A few more years pass and I dated a person that was my "what the hell was I thinking guy"! Ever have one of those? That was a very bad choice and I don't even want to relive that one....what a waste of time that was!
Then I met the second man I fell in love with, or so I thought. I think now it was more of a "sercurity" thing than anything else and I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that. But it was what it was. He was a father of 2 who's wife had recently died. I became friend and then lover and then stepmom. No we didn't marry. I have never been married....doesn't mean I didn't want it, it means it just never happened. I'm not the type of person to present ultimatums to anyone and so I was always happy with what I had.....sort of.
This was my last real relationship....it lasted 3 years and ended the day my life changed from the accident. That was eight years ago.
My life had changed for the better and I was making the most of it. I did work on my house that I had neglected for too long. I got very involved in my job and loved doing it, loved waking up each day to see what I could think of doing. I think I probably got carried away there for a while. I was actually building things, with wood and power tools, just winging it and hoping what I made didn't fall apart. Ha!
I concentrated on me.....got closer to my family which I neglected also for too long. I reconnected with a high school friend after 20 years and it was like time never passed, we are best friends again today. I helped her move from Az. to Minnesota the same year my beloved dog Daisy passed. She was what I took away from my first love relationship. She was 4 months old when we got her and she was 15 when I had to put her to sleep. She was my best friend for many years, always there and always wanting to give unconditionally. I'll miss her always. If you're not a pet lover you have no idea what I'm talking about, and that's ok, but don't think I'm silly for feeling this way.
On one of my vacations back to Milwaukee to visit my family I decided that I had enough of Az. and enough of being so far away from everyone. I had 5 niece's that I wanted to have in everyday of my life. I was missing everything....once a year visits were no longer enough. So I decided to sell my house and move back. I went home to start that in motion. Before I had left on vacation I joined an Irish Penpal site in hopes to make friends in Ireland for when I would eventually visit there....still waiting on that adventure! :-)
When I got home and read my emails there was one from the penpal site. I was jazzed, what fun talking with an Irish person. Well, he was from Eugene, Oregon, good old USA, go figure! It was that anyone could email anyone and it just mostly was for people interested in anything Irish. Which I was and so was he. It was ok, I was mostly interested in getting my house sold and moving and didn't really need the distraction.
But it became a very big distraction. We started out with just the general type emails, friendly and what our interests were. That went on for about a month and we realized we had so much in common and decided to talk on the phone. Well, not to try now to make any of this a short story, but we developed very deep feelings for one another. This all started in August. We decided to meet at Christmas time, he was coming to see me. I planned a wonderful time for the ten days we would be together.
It was wonderful and I was in love once again. This time I knew it was with as clear a head as I've ever had and I was so hopeful. So we decided that I would come to Oregon when my house sold and see what would happen. Heck, I was moving anyway and I always loved Oregon, been there once, and I needed to see if this was going to be a life change for me. I still wanted to come back home, but my reasoning there was that if I had a chance to be in love and have a man to grow old with at my side I'm going for it.....there is still plane travel, right?
By that January my house sold, I moved everthing into storage, I'm not altogether stupid you know, I knew it may not work out so I was going to test it out for a while before moving everything I owned there. By the time everything was done I was ready to go by the end of March. My truck was packed with what I figured I needed for the next couple of months and he was going to fly into to Las Vegas and meet me and we would drive to Oregon together.
I had to be out of my house several days before we met up in Vegas so I stayed with my Mom.....that was a chore in itself. I love my Mom, but we can not be together for long periods of time. I was done with work which was a great feeling because I had been working since I was 16 and I was 45 now and ready for an extended vacation. A couple of months sounded just right! ;-)
Oh I was so looking forward to this very big change in my life. This was the biggest thing I had ever done.....leaving a place I had lived in for 31 yrs. of my life, selling my lovely house that I had for 22 yrs. and saying goodbye to some really great friends and heading out on starting my life over and doing it midway through my life......was I NUTS!!!!!??????
Not at all.....but was it really going to happen? Tell ya later.
Colleen  回應 (2)
引用通告此內容的引用通告是： http://highlandwish.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!1BB0F38200EB6A8B!366.trak 引述這則內容的部落格
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